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Critical Golf: Unbiased Golf Equipment Reviews

Top 10 Golf Quotes

Top 10 Golf Quotes

We’ve assembled a few of the best golf quotes ever (we limited ourselves to one from Caddyshack)…Feel free to add your favorites!

1. The Simpsons
[Homer is in a bunker]
Mr. Burns: For God’s sake, man, use an open-faced club…the sand wedge.
Homer: Mmmmm… open-faced club sandwich.

2. Caddyshack
Judge Smails: Ty, what did you shoot today?
Ty Webb: Oh Judge, I don’t keep score.
Judge Smails: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?
Ty Webb: By height.

3. Tin Cup
Roy McAvoy: Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.

4. Happy Gilmore
Happy Gilmore: [to his golf ball] You little son of a b**** ball! Why you don’t you just go HOME? That’s your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE A**, BALL!

5. Tiger Woods
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

6. Jack Nicklaus
The older you get the stronger the wind gets and it’s always in your face.

7. Lee Trevino
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

8. Chi Chi Rodriguez
I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

9. Gary Player
If there’s a golf course in heaven, I hope it’s like Augusta National. I just don’t want an early tee time.

10. Phil Mickelson
I am such an idiot.